A couple of days ago, Monday February 23, 2015, I logged into my Debbie Barrett-Jones Textiles Facebook account and was notified by FB, that I could boost or promote my posts for as low as $5 a day. They let me know this EVERYDAY at least once. For only $5 a day I can get an estimated 4-17 new likes PER day. And for only $30, I could get 26-103 new likes. WHAT A DEAL!!! The pressure of getting more views and likes on Facebook is a daily occurrence along with showing me my "data" or "stats" for the week. So many page Likes, New Page Likes, Total Reach, Post Reach and People Engaged this week compared to last week.
And Etsy just the same with the constant stats and wanting money for more views........
Here is what I wrote last year. I will admit, that I am kind of embarrassed letting people into my thoughts that I am not too proud of. But here they are.
******Post Written on February 27, 2014*****( Please don't judge my writing. Was just writing down my thoughts at the time. :) *******
I have to be honest with you. It can be a little hard to be a small business owner and CONSTANTLY have to promote yourself on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. I have a love/hate relationship with social media. I appreciate that it is free advertising and a great way to network. And it is a easy and free way to document my work. I just grab my iPhone, take a photo with my camera and within a minute I can show the world what I have made or what I am up to...BUT it can mess with my confidence on so many levels that I am embarrassed by. Not to mention, I hate the thought of my posts annoying people. "Oh, not AGAIN, Debbie is posting something about HER work"....Arg!!!! :((( I know this might sound completely silly to some people but I am just trying to be honest here.
Oh, and I have Not mentioned that I run and help run
way too many sites online including;
BillySue Textiles Etsy
BillySue Textile Twitter
BillySue Textiles Facebook
(I am pretty sure I didn't leave any out. Probably by the time this is posted I will have another site;)
If I have to be really honest with you, I struggle with my confidence almost every time I post something on social media. It is awful!!! Once I post something, I find myself constantly checking my iPhone to see if anyone viewed it, liked it and best of all, wrote a comment. If it is my lucky day and I will get a sufficient amount to views, likes and comments. This builds my self esteem and I will feel really good about myself as an artist and as a human. BUT if I don't get enough "likes" ....I find myself being totally insecure and start feeling like a failure in many areas of my life. It's like I am back in grade school desperately wanting people to like me...
I know, I know it is totally ridiculous and if I had a friend tell me what I am writing right now, I would TOTALLY tell them the truth. I would tell my friend, "YOU are NOT your Facebook status updates! YOU are NOT the amount of 'likes' or 'comments' or 'views' that day on your facebook fan page or the photos you post!!
I totally know this but I can struggle with the truth of who I am especially when looking at and posting on Facebook or even instagram has become such a habit in my life. Facebook is first thing I look at when I wake up and the last thing I look at when going to bed. I have my phone on me most of the day. And have a panic attack when I cannot find it. While in my studio, my smart phone allows me to update people on social media with the new work I am making so easily that maybe posting has become a habit. When you are someone like me, I am a part-time stay at home mom, trying to make somewhat of a living doing the thing I love and passionate about. So, I rely on and am thankful for Facebook. So many people can find out who I am and check out my online shops through social media. I know I don't want to not have my account but something has to change, when it can effect me in negative ways.
I sleep next to my iPhone so it is always close to me.....for what reason? What is even the reason why I get on there so much? There once was a time that I didn't have a smart phone. haha.....about two years ago. There once was a time that I didn't have a Facebook account.....oh my, what did I do way back then....call my friends....email or even write them a letter!!!!Because getting on facebook has become such a part of my life, a habit. What kind of person have I become, trying to find my confidence and I guess self worth in my STATUS UPDATES!!!
**Pausing right now to tell myself the truth again*** I am NOT my social status update! I am NOT the amount of 'likes' or the amount of viewed posts.**
And let me just say, how annoying it is at times to have a "fan page" on Facebook. Facebook constantly shows me the status of views I have on my post, how many views I have today compared to yesterday...... and for just $5 a day I can pay for more views. They do a great job with putting a panic in my that I am not doing enough. Etsy does it too....... I kind of get tired and weighed down by all the pressure to do MORE. And more always comes to a cost with Etsy and Facebook. Is this all worth it. I must take a break......not sure what that break looks like, but I know it is necessary.